Do you realize that the Bible does have different standards? God gives husbands one set of standards and wives a completely different set of standards. It is easy to miss this different set of standards in a quick reading of scripture, but when one realizes the significance these two verses it can redefine ones marriage, particularly how husbands look at their marriage.
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:10,11
I have known that a wife must submit to her husband and that a husband must love his wife, but I don’t think I had fully appreciated the fact that the Bible commands that a wife needs to stay married to her husband unless he leaves her (1 Cor. 7:15), but if she does leave her husband then she needs to stay unmarried. However, men don’t get that option. They are told out right to not divorce their wife. It is just not an option for men like it or not, but why doesn’t God give men that option? Why the double standard?
The simple undisputable fact is that men are to emulate Christ and His love for us. That means that husbands are to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25. Randy Alcorn writes in his book The Resolution for Men, “God’s calling for you as a husband was not to marry the woman you love, but to love the woman you married.” While many men may agree with me on this matter, the depth of that love may not be fully realized.
Do you appreciate that when Christ gave up his life on the cross that he gave it up for a bride that had soiled itself in an arrangement of sins such as greed, lust, bitterness, gluttony, despiteful and self-centeredness? In my opinion that is one ugly bride. Is that the kind of bride we would want to give up our life for? None-the-less, that is exactly the kind of bride Christ willingly and lovingly sacrificed himself for. I can guarantee that Jesus did not want to go to the cross; He would rather been back home on His throne in heaven, but His love for us was unconditional. He knew our need and was willing to sacrifice His life and wants for our salvation. This is the kind of love husbands are called to give their wives.
Husbands, every day we need to set aside our selfish desires to meet the needs of our wife. It does not matter if she deserves it or not, for we are to love our wife just as Jesus loved us (John 15:12). In the same way we find security in the unconditional love of Jesus, our wives should also find that same love emulated from her husband. Make the only choice today to love your wife. Praise your wife with affirmation, spend time reading God’s Word, thank Him for your wife, pray for her physical and spiritual wellbeing, pray that God would bless her, and ask God to make you a vessel that would engulf your wife in His love. When should you do this? Start today; start now.
photo by: C. Frank Starmer
