Is porn so bad?  Is it not a private matter?  It’s not hurting anyone so why not let it go?  Just because someone looks at porn does not mean it is affecting their relationships, does it? What’s so wrong about porn?

We live in a world where men between the ages of 18 and 34 have a 70% chance on intentionally viewing pornography and 1/3 third of women are doing the same[i]. With over 120 million searches for the words sex, adult dating and/or porn[ii] it is no wonder that 12% of websites on the internet are pornographic in nature[iii].  We live in a world where porn is more easily accessible than at any other time.  We know this not because of the previously listed statistics, but because we see it on the internet when we are not even trying to find porn.  A few weeks ago I typed in “Darth Vader” in an image search and amongst the images of Vader was a pornographic image. Porn has become so expansive that it has engulfed our society and has quietly crept into the church.  The question is, do we discuss it or do we hope it goes away? Could it be that maybe sex is the problem?

Contrary to what many believe, God does not hate sex; in fact he created it and I would go so far as to say He is a huge proponent of sex.  There is even a book in the Bible titled “Song of Solomon” where sex is even celebrated in a marriage.  While some view Christianity as prudish, the truth is the Bible tells married couple to be anything but prude within their marriage.  Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 that married couples are to be constantly engaged in sexual activities with one another unless for a short mutually agreed upon time so they can focus on prayer.  The question for a Christian married couple is not “when should they have sex,” but rather “when should they not have sex.”    The problem is not sex; rather it is unbiddled selfish lust that causes problems.

Joshua Harris writes in his book Sex is Not the Problem, “Sex is not the problem—lust is the problem. It’s the enemy and has hijacked sexuality.”  Porn feeds our lust and that lust disconnects us from our wives by stealing our heart, our connectivity, our attention and out time (Matthew 5:28).  When you take in porn it is like injecting feces into the heart. It develops dissatisfaction with our wives by constructing unrealistic, distorted and ungodly expectations of sex while stripping out love and commitment.  Porn is so intrusive that it alters the way view women and our wives and is destructive to all. Proverbs 6:27 says, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”  Allowing porn to infiltrate the heart will burn you and those you love. It is in direct opposition to true intimacy and we need to make it our goal to rescue true intimacy from lust so that we can experience sex as it was designed by our God. However, staying free from porn requires honesty with yourself and others.

It is one thing to recognize the destructive nature of porn; it’s a wholly different thing when trying to flee from it. Here are some simple steps to protect yourself from porn.

1. Spend extra time in scripture and fill your head and heart with the words of God. Let his words overflow your heart.
2. Through prayer and fasting ask the Holy Spirit to guide your heart away from lust and pornography.
3. If you are married be honest with your spouse about porn. While it makes my wife uncomfortable, she and I discuss it honestly and openly with one another. I tell her what goes on the internet and even told her about the “Darth Vader” search.
4. Have someone you are accountable to. A person you can talk to who can ask the difficult questions without passing judgment. Porn habits thrive on secrecy.
5. Delete anything that is related to or links to pornography on your computer, TV and/or in a box.
6. Do not be alone in a room with a computer and have your computer be in a common use location in house (i.e. living room, family room, etc.).
7. Enjoy God’s creation and get out and marvel at it while hiking, playing a sport, swimming, etc.
8. Use internet programs to assist you (http://christianbroadband.com,  http://www.x3watch.com/)
9. Take strong actions if needed. Eliminate home internet, cable and anything that could lead back to pornography.

Remember porn is like a broken pipe in the ceiling. It will slowly fill the room, eventually filling it, and will cause water damage to the structure. However, with accountability and God’s Holy Spirit you can leave a life of porn in the sewer where it belongs.

Do you realize that the Bible does have different standards?  God gives husbands one set of standards and wives a completely different set of standards.  It is easy to miss this different set of standards in a quick reading of scripture, but when one realizes the significance these two verses it can redefine ones marriage, particularly how husbands look at their marriage.

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:10,11

I have known that a wife must submit to her husband and that a husband must love his wife, but I don’t think I had fully appreciated the fact that the Bible commands that a wife needs to stay married to her husband unless he leaves her (1 Cor. 7:15), but if she does leave her husband then she needs to stay unmarried.  However, men don’t get that option. They are told out right to not divorce their wife. It is just not an option for men like it or not, but why doesn’t God give men that option? Why the double standard?

The simple undisputable fact is that men are to emulate Christ and His love for us.  That means that husbands are to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25. Randy Alcorn writes in his book The Resolution for Men, “God’s calling for you as a husband was not to marry the woman you love, but to love the woman you married.”  While many men may agree with me on this matter, the depth of that love may not be fully realized.

Do you appreciate that when Christ gave up his life on the cross that he gave it up for a bride that had soiled itself in an arrangement of sins such as greed, lust, bitterness, gluttony, despiteful and self-centeredness? In my opinion that is one ugly bride.  Is that the kind of bride we would want to give up our life for?  None-the-less, that is exactly the kind of bride Christ willingly and lovingly sacrificed himself for. I can guarantee that Jesus did not want to go to the cross; He would rather been back home on His throne in heaven, but His love for us was unconditional.  He knew our need and was willing to sacrifice His life and wants for our salvation.  This is the kind of love husbands are called to give their wives.

Husbands, every day we need to set aside our selfish desires to meet the needs of our wife.  It does not matter if she deserves it or not, for we are to love our wife just as Jesus loved us (John 15:12). In the same way we find security in the unconditional love of Jesus, our wives should also find that same love emulated from her husband.  Make the only choice today to love your wife. Praise your wife with affirmation, spend time reading God’s Word, thank Him for your wife, pray for her physical and spiritual wellbeing, pray that God would bless her, and ask God to make you a vessel that would engulf your wife in His love.  When should you do this? Start today; start now.

 photo by: C. Frank Starmer 

“We live in an era that questions authority.”
John McArthur.

Today, at this moment in history, Americans are frustrated, uncertain, tired and scared. The American dream is crumbling in front of them, finical security is waning, uncertainty is looming and the people are voicing their concern.  Since September 17, 2011 Occupy Wall Street has been a moving force that will define this year and possibly this decade.  While some have contributed it to a passing fad, others have remarked the similarities between the hippie movement of the 1960’s.  While many Christians would like to just ignore that it is happening, like it or not Christians are going to have to respond to the bent up frustration of this generation. That leaves us with one very important question, should Christians support the Occupy Wall Street Protestors or should they protest against them equally loud? Read the rest of this entry »

There is no doubt in the minds of many that Steve Jobs was a brilliant and intuitive visionary that made technology accessible and fun. Never had phones, listening devices and computers been so hip till the introduction of the iPhone, iPod and iMac.  However, Jobs is dead and many are left wondering, where is Steve Jobs now?

There has been much speculation about the beliefs of Jobs.  Some have asked, “was Steve Jobs was an atheist?” Others followed up with asking “was Steve Jobs a Christian?”  Steve Jobs was neither a Christian nor an atheist; Jobs was a Buddhist. Read the rest of this entry »

As I sat at the table with several friends, who are involved in ministry, we chatted about our ministries, happenings in our community and finally the ministry of some of the pastors of the biggest mega churches we know of in the United States.  “Did you know Rick Warren was cooking up burgers for everyone who was volunteering at Saddleback’s Church Workday?” was one comment.  That comment was soon followed up with, “do you think if I cooked up burgers at my church people would show up and help at our church?”  For the next twenty minutes we just talked about these pastors and the great ministries they appear to be having.  If one was not careful, it would not take much for some of us to get envious of these mega church pastors and jealous of their fan like following. But, should we really envy these guys?

While Rick Warren, John MacArthur and John Piper are some amazing men, they really are not that important to me. As I told one of my friends who was sitting at that table, “those guys are great, but I don’t have lunch with them each week.  However, I do have lunch with you.” That friend is making a greater impact on me and my ministry than those previously mentioned pastors. The truth is those men can’t connect with everyone on Earth on a consistent basis.  God has us strategically spread us out all over the planet to form and build relationships with people He desires us to connect with in our particular community.

It’s not the mega church pastors who are making the big difference in the lives of the people you care about.  It’s the average everyday people who take the time to sit down and have lunch with a friend that make the big impact. It’s the Sunday school teacher who invests countless hours trying to teach their students the wonder of God that make the impact. It’s the pastor who actively looks over his flock, no matter its size that is making the impact. Those are the people that matter in the lives of our neighbors.  When your friend is sick, they are not going to be calling Rick Warren, but I might just you.  I wish to say thank you to all the friends who have and are still making an impact in my life.

Who are you making a difference to?

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One Final note: I know I have not been blogging since April. Truth is life got to busy with school and trying to prepare for some big events. But, that is over now and I have some great news about another little project I’m involved in.  More of that to come soon.

Photo by deflam

When the movie 300 came out, every man wanted to be one of the 300 Spartans that gave their life trying to defend their lands.  Ever guy who saw the movie envisioned themselves as having ripping huge muscles and masculinity pouring out of every pore.  300, like many war movies, made war look glorious and romantic, even when they all ended up dead at the end.  But, based on the accounts of those who have experienced war first hand, war is not like this.  War is ugly, painful and traumatic.

Today a very close friend of mine is locked in a heated battle that could alter his life and the life of his family forever, today my friend fights for his marriage.  My friend “D” has been involved in ministry the last ten years and recently he and his wife “G” have been struggling in their relationship.   They are in the midst of

some of the greatest spiritual battle I have ever witnessed and both have been wounded badly.   The enemy seeks to destroy these two people’s individual lives, their marriage and their family of five.  Therefore, I put a call out to 300 men and women, who are part of the Lords army, to join me in fighting back for the sake of this family and all the others who are facing this same attack.

While I cannot heal the wounds that this couple has already been afflicted with, I can, through the power of Christ, act as prayerful hedge of protection from further attack.  Like the men of Gideon’s army, it will not be through my own strength that this battle will be won, but rather by the power of God.

I now call on you to tighten up your armor of God and stand beside me as face off against the enemy who hates us, our families, our churches and our God.  We can’t make their marriage right, but we sure can stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around our waist, the breastplate of righteousness in place, our feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, holding the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Eph. 6:10-18).

I call on you to pray in the Spirit for the next 30 days to pray for “D” and “G.” Set your cell phones to alert you once a day to pray, mark your calendar, place a sticky note on your window, or find some other way to remind yourself to pray for “D” and “G” and all the others who are in the same battle.  If you are willing to take the next 30 days to act as a prayer warrior, then please comment below so they weary can find courage in Christ.

With Gideon and a 300 hundred volunteer man army, God did what Leonidas and his 300 trained professional Spartan soldiers could not do, God defeated His enemies (Judges 7).

Many people ask the questions, should Christians drink alcohol and is it alright if Christians to drink some alcohol? These are very good questions.  Now one can simply quote Ephesians 5:18 “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;” and say, “there that settles the matter, Christians should not drink alcohol.” But, the problem with that is that the Bible say’s don’t get DRUNK, it does not say don’t drink.  To say that having an alcoholic drink will lead to drunkenness, is like saying eating food will lead to gluttony.  No, to answer this question we need to work through this a little harder than that.

The church in Syrian Antioch dealt with a similar problem.  The question they dealt with was, “Should Christians eating food/meat that has been sacrificed to idols?” This church was made up of both Jews and Gentiles (Acts 15). Since eating meat offered to idols was a conflict-ridden issue that made the Jews feel uncomfortable, the Jerusalem Council asked that all the gentile Christians to not eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols (Acts 15:29). This was not really an issue of sin, rather it was more of an issue of keeping the peace and not offending anyone.  This way the Jews knew that what they ate was not at one time a sacrificed animal and the gentiles were not accused of idol worship.

Paul really clears up the issue in 1 Corinthians 8:4-13. I’m going to take a couple of verse at a time and then translate them to a more modern paraphrase.

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Lets read together:

BIBLE: ⁴ So, what about eating meat that has been offered to idols? Well, we all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God. ⁵ There may be so-called gods both in heaven and on earth, and some people actually worship many gods and many lords. ⁶ But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom God made everything and through whom we have been given life.

PARAPHRASE: We know that an idol stands for something that does not really exist and we know that there is only the one God. Even if there are so-called gods, there is only one God the Father and one Jesus Christ who created everything and saved us.

BIBLE: ⁷ However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences are violated. ⁸ It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do.

PARAPHRASE: Not everyone is use to this though.  Some people have been so used to idols that to this day it bothers their conscience when thinking about eating food that has been sacrificed to an idol.  It is not as if eating  food sacrificed to idols will improve their relationship with God and in fact it will not help them or hurt them if they eat the meat.

BIBLE: ⁹ But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. ¹⁰ For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? ¹¹ So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer^[a] for whom Christ died will be destroyed. ¹² And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. ¹³ So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.

PARAPHRASE: However, just because you can eat meat sacrificed to idols does not mean you should do it all the time.  Let’s pretend you have a Christian friend over who is bothered by the idea of eating meat that had been sacrificed to an idol.  Do not encourage or try to get them to eat that meat.  By trying to make them eat the meat you are causing them to go against their conscience and that is causing them to sin. It is better for me to give up eating meat that had been sacrificed to an idol than to cause someone to sin.

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1. Is it wrong to eat meat that had been sacrificed to an idol (v. 4-6)?
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2. Can Christians be bothered by the idea of eating meat that had been sacrificed to an idol (v. 7-8)?
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3. Should Christians ask other Christians to eat meat that had been sacrificed to an idol if it bothers their conscience (v. 9-13)?
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4. Is it a sin to go against your conscious or to make someone else go against their conscious?
   .

Paul explained that eating meat offered to an idol is not wrong, because “an idol is nothing at all.” Food does not make us any closer or farther away from God. However, some consider it morally wrong to eat meat sacrificed to idols and under no circumstances should Christian pressure other Christians to go against their conscience. That would be sin.

But what does this have to do with drinking?!

Everything.  The Bible does not say, “Do not have any alcohol,” but it does say, “Don’t get drunk and don’t tempt others to sin against their conscience.”  Now, if you are home alone and you want to have one beer, you can.  I have read many people who make argument that Christians are to be separate from the world and so should never pick up a drink, but ultimately their arguments falls short.  To say that “you CAN’T have a drink, because it might lead to drunkenness” is like saying, “you can’t surf the internet, because it might lead to pornography.”  Therefore, you can have a drink if you like, but the real question is “should you have a drink.” While you are free to have a drink, sometimes it is better not to.

Just because we are free to do something, does not mean we should always do it.  Having a drink might hurt your witness to people who do not understand that Christianity is not built up on rules and regulations like the Old Testament.  Having a drink might lead others to believe that if you can have one drink, then you have ten.  Having a drink might make other Christians stumble in their own walk with Christ.  Having a drink might lead to unforeseen problems. The world is not always as black and white as we like and sometimes we need to use our mind to make the wise choice without clear cut rules.   I encourage you to think before having a drink and consider your surroundings, people you are with and your own temptations.  Is having a drink the wise choice given your situation?  It may not be.  Remember, Christians glorify God when they limit their freedom for the spiritual benefit of others. (1 Corinthians 10:25-32)

Photo by JOE MARINARO

What happens when you die, do you float around like a ghost, do you go straight to heaven, or do you wait in the grave till Jesus returns?

Do followers of Christ go straight to heaven when they die?
When Jesus was on the cross, a thief on another cross nearby knew who Jesus was and asked Jesus to remember him when Jesus entered His kingdom in heaven.  Jesus replied to him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43). The promise was that he would be with Christ right away, not some far off date in the future. Paul confirms this when he declared that he was prepared to die, because he knew that when he died he would be immediately be present with God. “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Cor 5:8)   In Philippians 1:21-24 Paul writes, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”

Paul knew that when he died (depart), he would be with Christ, but he also knew that the church’s needed him there to help minister to their communities. Thus he was willing to stay here on earth, but he was also looking forward to being with Christ in heaven. Thus, the short answer for it is, when a person dies they are immediately in the presence of God.

But what happens to our bodies?
At death our bodies go into the grave and will stay their till Jesus returns during the second coming of Christ (1 Thess. 4:16). Jesus will then raise and transform all Christians (1 John 3:2) and give then new bodies so their spirits will not be naked any more (2 Cor. 5). Each follower of Christ will receive a body suitable for heaven and each person who does not follow Christ will receive a body suitable for hell (Gr. Gehenna).

People who do not follow Christ do not go straight to hell; rather they go to a waiting place called Hades. Hades is an intermediate state of the dead (disembodied spirits) who are awaiting the Judgment. It is there that they will await their great throne judgment and receive their new bodies suitable for hell before being cast into the lake of fire.

Did Jesus go to Hell?
Jesus going to hell comes from the apocryphal Gospel of Nicodemus, which dates from the fifth century A.D., and claims that Jesus descended into hell and retrieved all the Old Testament saints.  The Apocrypha is a series of books not recognized by early Christians, but it was later recognized by the Roman Catholic Church during the reformation at the Council of Trent in 1546 AD. Generally speaking Christians outside the Roman Catholic Church, including me, do not generally recognize these books as part of the Bible.

Confusion has since been compounded when English translations of the 16^th and 17^th centuries, when translators did not understand the technical distinctions that exist between the pertinent Greek terms. Hades, a place for the dead to wait, and gehenna, the final place for the wicked, were translated into hell even though they were to different locations.   This confusion carried over into the King James Version’s rendering of hades as “hell.”

Jesus did not go to hell for a couple of days. All the sin sat on his shoulders at the cross and for a moment in time he was sin and it was put to death on the cross. When he died, Jesus went to His Father in heaven where he later was reunited with the other thief on the cross who died after Him.

Where are you going to go when you die? Hades or Heaven?

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12 ESV).

Kindness, the meaning and ideal of the word was always something that I thought I understood, until God showed me what it really means.  When I least expected it, God taught me a lesson in the kindness of strangers when I was 3,000 miles from the comfort of home.  The lesson came in three, and while my trip had memorable moments, nothing will be remembered as much as these strangers.

The first encounter came out of circumstances that I had created all by myself.  Due to my lack of calculation on how long it takes to get to the airport, I missed my flight.  As it turned out, I caught the next flight out and since I am prone to talking with strangers, sparked up a conversation with the women sitting across from me.  The conversation eventually led to a discussion on education, which I was just thrilled about.  As the five hour flight wore on, she inquired about why I was traveling and informed her that I was going to check out a school.  Upon learning that I planned to utilize public transportation to get from the airport to my hotel (about an hour away), she offered me a ride. I was blown away, my hotel was out of her way and she was a stranger, but I accepted.  Not only did she give me a ride to my hotel and wanted to make sure that I checked in before going on her way.  Maybe it was her motherly instinct and would have wanted someone to do the same for her daughter, but I believe that it was God’s intervention that led the way.  Whatever it was, I know I will never forget her kindness.

One day later, I was taking the bus from the train station back to my hotel.  It was dark, raining, and I told the bus driver that I needed the stop closet to my hotel.  A miscommunication between the two of us led to him bypassing the stop and took me miles away.  The driver said that I could get out and cross the street to wait for the next bus to take me back and that it should come soon.  I did just that, got out in the pouring rain with a broken umbrella, crossed a busy street and waiting at a bus stop with barely any light next to a dark freeway entrance.  When 20 minutes had gone by, I was shivering from taking on more rain than the umbrella was keeping out.  I decided that I would just walk back, that maybe it was not as far as I thought. Let’s just say, not one of my finest moments and I did not get far before realizing that the street barely had lights.  Saying prayer after prayer, I asked God what I should do and then saw a hotel across the street.  I decided to take a chance, (at this point I thought what else could happen).  Once inside, and trying not to leave puddles where I walked, I asked the reception if they could call me a cab and how much it would be (I had limited funds and was worried).  God again provided.  Just as the receptionist was about to call, he said that his shuttle driver would give me a lift, free of charge!  I should mention that my own hotel’s shuttle had a limit of five miles and I was way past that as it turned out.

The last act of kindness came on my way home.  On a layover in Chicago, I again struck up a conversation with an elderly lady next to me.  From the conversation, I found out that I was actually sitting next to a famous artist who was friends with the late Rosa Parks and whose artwork resides in the United States Capitol.  While she had traveled the world and done work for celebrities, I found her to be humble.  We even talked about God and the role he has played in our life.  Halfway through the trip we grew tired since it was almost 10 p.m. and the cabin was really cold.  Without saying a word, she took off her scarf, opened it up and folded it in half, before covering me.  Needless to say I was stunned as her kindness when she could have easily covered herself. I told her to cover herself but she said she was fine.  I thanked her over and over, even after I got off the plane.

If anything I have learned is that kindness is a Christian responsibility.  We should always remember that Jesus Christ showed kindness to everyone he encountered and that we are called to show others, especially strangers, kindness to help them.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it” (Hebrews 13:2 ).

Photo by Walmink